Puddles

Oct. 10th, 2016 08:45 pm
tuzanna: X-Files I Want To Believe (x files)
I saw the weird puddle in the middle of my floor. I walked past it many times. I thought little of it. Eventually, I cleaned it up. The next morning, it came back. It was there, in the exact same spot. I cleaned it again. Then, I cleaned it again. It came back. I would watch the ceiling for hours to find out where it came from, but nothing happened while I was watching. It turned out, it was coming up from the floorboards.

I couldn't bring myself to tear the floor up. I never wanted to see what was underneath.

I simply cleaned it before guests came over. It would reform when they left. They passed by it, not suspecting a thing. They sat merrily mere feet from the spot. I would watch, tense, willing the spot never to appear when they could see.

Please, just don't come back. Don't come back at all. I can't stand it anymore.

Tinnitus

Sep. 27th, 2016 09:47 pm
tuzanna: Steven Universe Peridot (peridot)
I am not deaf. At least, I don't think I am. I have heard nothing but the wailing of dying children, the screaming of a freight train braking on the tracks, the squealing of stuck pigs, the screeching of nails on a chalkboard, for years now. I can hear them all. Once in a while, I hear one more than the others. Sometimes a new noise breaks through and makes a debut in my ears.

But now I can hear something. Now I can hear her voice. I haven't heard a voice in so long. The world has been so loud and yet so silent for pretty much as long as I can remember now. What do I say? Can I speak? I don't know how to approach her.

All I know is that I can't lose her. Not yet. Not until I figure something out.
tuzanna: Got7 Youngjae (youngjae)
GOT7'S YOUNGJAE IS MY ULTIMATE BIAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to get that on the record somewhere.

???

Aug. 2nd, 2016 12:28 am
tuzanna: (penguin)
"I love information."

Gotham

Jul. 24th, 2016 06:54 pm
tuzanna: Superman (Superman)
I love Penguin so much.

Tea

Jul. 1st, 2016 11:33 am
tuzanna: Steven Universe Rose Quartz (rose quartz)
I love tea. I love how many different kinds there are. I love trying every different variety and tasting all the subtle variations. I love what makes an oolong taste different than a green tea, and what makes mate taste different from yaupon. I love the fragrances, the colors, the temperatures. Even tasting a tea I don't like ends up being an experience I won't forget. I love curling up with a hot tea cup or cooling down with a glass of iced tea. Tea, tisane, matcha. It all just makes me so happy. I don't know what I'd do without it.
tuzanna: Got7 Youngjae (youngjae)
Everyone around me is always fighting. There is constantly tension in the air. We are all forced to be there; I don't understand the point of all the hatred and the whispering and the passive aggressive treatment. Yes, we can't all get our way and things don't even go the way I want sometimes, but this is becoming fairly constant. I already have a lot of pressure on me and I try to treat everyone fairly despite being told I shouldn't or that I don't have to, but fairness and equality are important to me. No, I don't like everyone. No, not everyone gets the same treatment because not everyone works as hard or as well. But I'm doing my best and I try to make working an enjoyable experience for everyone, and it just seems like no one appreciates how hard I try for them, and for everyone.

I would like to think we have these problems because everyone around me is very young. But I doubt it. I don't know any really "adult" adults in my life. Everyone has seemed to fail to grow up, and their children and future children suffer from it. Maybe the world is going to shit, or maybe the culture in my small sample size is just ugly. I just wish I could think better of the young people I spend time with.

Side note: Alcohol is a BIG problem with these kids. Marijuana is a bit of a problem, too, but it doesn't seem as widespread, and it doesn't seem to make people behave quite as badly (probably because it is less socially and legally accepted). I'm really glad I quit drinking a long time ago because it really grosses me out. It doesn't bother me if they have a decent control on their drinking habits, but I know several of them have ACTUAL addiction problems.

Rocks

Jun. 30th, 2016 02:33 pm
tuzanna: Steven Universe Peridot (peridot)
A diamond that lasts for three days and then disintegrates into nothing but dust.

Is it still just as precious?

I feel

Jun. 15th, 2016 02:06 pm
tuzanna: X-Files I Want To Believe (x files)
I feel

anxiousness

unfairness

annoyance, hatred, fear

tired, uselessness

wanting to abandon all my plans,

and wanting to have our family.

It can't all be perfect, but... I want it to be so badly.

I am too tired for work. I am tired inside. I am hating inside. I am a victim inside. I hate all of them inside. I feel alone and alienated by people who love to see me. My world doesn't make sense.

I want that baby so badly. I want it to be perfect.

I love him so so much. I don't care what happens because he will be there for me.

It will be okay.

Privacy

May. 24th, 2016 03:09 pm
tuzanna: Garrus Mass Effect (garrus)
What if there were no passwords? What if anyone could look up everything about everyone else just by typing in their name. You could see Jennifer's e-mails. She could see all of your text messages. Privacy is a thing of the past. Cameras are everywhere, with feeds going to anyone who cares to click a link. The only thing that is a secret are hushed whispers between two people. The only thing that is safe is your own thoughts. There is no one to trust because everyone is outed before they even begin.

No dream

Apr. 22nd, 2016 11:47 am
tuzanna: Pikachu (pikachu)
I have so many fun things to do and hardly any time to do them. Maybe I'll just sleep my free time away instead.

Dreaming

Apr. 8th, 2016 12:00 pm
tuzanna: Superman (Default)
I saw a girl in a fish tank last night. They were watching her like a TV. She was trying to say something but it was inaudible. There was a small man in a small fish tank as well.

I also remember the white shadow puppet girl with no eyes singing at the drive in.
tuzanna: X-Files I Want To Believe (x files)
He was holding her, up above the water, with a gun to her head as her family watched helplessly. She started to gasp. If they made a move, he could shoot her in the head and kill her instantly. If they didn't, she could suffocate above the water, her gills opening and closing desperately just for a tiny amount of oxygen. Her makeshift lungs were giving out and her instincts were kicking in. She tried to flail but he was much bigger, and much stronger than her. I couldn't stand the look on her face, so I closed my eyes. People were screaming and arguing, but I couldn't remember any of the words. All I knew was that I didn't want to hear it anymore. So I shoved my head under the water and let it rush into my ears, blocking out the horrors above.

Please

Mar. 8th, 2016 12:00 pm
tuzanna: Steven Universe Rose Quartz (rose quartz)
Please don't come over here. I'm just trying to eat my lunch in peace. I can't stand you. You make my blood boil with every sentence that comes out of your mouth. You will make me completely lose my appetite. I'm so tired of you making me waste my lunch by coming over and bothering me. If you come over here and say one word, you might as well just take the rest of my food because there's no way I'm going to be able to eat it. I quit. Seriously, I'm done. I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to tell you right to your face.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Good! You?"

Tide

Mar. 8th, 2016 11:51 am
tuzanna: (finn and jake)
Among his people, feelings, thoughts, and even complex emotions are easily conveyed and easily read by others. This made it hard to have a normal human conversation about feelings with him; he always seemed like he knew what I was feeling, and always had a solution that suited someone from his tribe, but not me. The same solutions he would use on his bride-to-be wouldn't work on me. We just weren't the same. He tried, but it was frustrating for both of us when his attempts to console me didn't work, and even more frustrating when he couldn't think outside the box and come up with another solution. His tribe worked almost like a hivemind, and I simply wasn't a part of it.

Whale

Feb. 28th, 2016 11:40 pm
tuzanna: Garrus Mass Effect (garrus)
It's so cold in the dark water. My lungs are full of stale air. I don't think I'm going to make it out. There is no one to be seen around me. I am going to drown. My arms paddle but I can't seem to break free of the water. Suddenly, I hear a strange noise. It is almost like a voice, but definitely not human. It squeaks and clicks and strings together what sounds like a sentence in some foreign tongue. Suddenly my head breeches water. I breathe in fresh salty air. My head is freezing but I am alive. I feel something smooth and rubbery under my feet. It is holding me up. I am standing, balancing awkwardly on the back of this kind creature. I can't stress my gratitude enough.
tuzanna: Pikachu (pikachu)
I will write something sooooooooooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!! alkdjsfkla;sdjfkl;ajsdklfajsdk;lfja;skldjfklds

Sculpted

Feb. 19th, 2016 12:33 pm
tuzanna: (finn and jake)
He was made of chiseled stone, every little detail of him perfect, straight from my mind to the block. The only thing that was bothering me was his face. Something about his smile was slightly imperfect, and it made me uncomfortable to look at it. Every time I tried to change it slightly, it seemed like I was only making it worse.

I tried to ignore it and work on the finer details of his body. His hands were large, and his shoulders were wide. He should be fit, but from working hard. I hadn't decided on his occupation, but certainly it would be something extremely physical. It would probably be something that would eventually wear his body down in old age, like construction, which he would have to retire from. He would be a hero to any of his future children. He would be strong and kind and it would be comfortable to be in his arms. More comfortable than being anywhere else in the world.

But something about his smile. Was it pained, like it was almost a grimace? Or was it a little too much like a smirk, like he was playing a joke at someone else's expense? I struggled to get inside his head. He was supposed to be a hero to me, as well, and this smile almost made me fear him.

Time

Feb. 19th, 2016 10:44 am
tuzanna: Pikachu (pikachu)
I had the chance now, to go back in time, to kill him before any of it even began.

I looked at the young mother, holding her baby with a loving gaze, unaware that any misfortune could come to the permanently bonded pair. She held her infant to her breast and smiled. My heart sunk. Is it possible for fate to be wrong?

I turned away from the window and stared down at the ground. I had been sent back to the middle of a beautiful spring day. The grass at my bare feet was dried by the sun, no trace of the chilling morning dew. The clothes I had haphazardly gathered on my way here were mere shreds of fabric, but even in a tank top and short skirt, with no socks or shoes, I was still comfortably embraced by the warm breeze. A ladybug crawled across my toes. I didn't feel anything like an assassin in my current state, but an assassin I was. My buzzed hair and tattooed arms were proof of my involvement in the resistance. However, with the world looking so beautiful and peaceful, I almost wanted to throw away my mission and let it be.

But that baby would grow up to kill my family, and along with it, millions of other innocent people. Thousands of other babies would die. Families would be broken apart. People would be tortured. Murder. Genocide. Countless crimes against humanity. The entire world would be thrown into a state of war and chaos.

It just hadn't happened yet. At this time, the only proof of what was to come... was me and my foggy memories.

First!

Feb. 18th, 2016 02:46 pm
tuzanna: Superman (Default)
I have to run into work soon but I figured I should at least start my journal with at least one post. Still trying to figure everything out, but I hope I grow to love Dreamwidth because everything at least looks lovely and is very reminiscent of Livejournal, which I used to use frequently when I was younger.

I hope to be able to scribble some writing prompts soon. My goal is to do at least one per day. I also may post random thoughts if I feel like it, and maybe some larger works if things seem to be working out well.

Profile

tuzanna: Superman (Default)
tuzanna

October 2016

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